


Quadrant Flipping

by Merrywetherweather



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Oneshot, Sexual Content, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-09 12:44:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merrywetherweather/pseuds/Merrywetherweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Porn mostly. Some plot development first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quadrant Flipping

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic ever. I've had to move it from website to website but now I can keep everything in one place so I got around to posting this here. Enjoy.

=> Be Dave Strider  
"STRIDER! TURN OFF THAT GOG AWFUL SOUND THIS INSTANT!" Karkat Vantas has just busted into your room at the most unholy of hours. His hair can best be described as a bird's nest and his face is doing some weird moving shit with his lips… Oh yeah, he's talking. No. Wait. He looks to be screaming at you. Fuck, you are one sleepy dude. What could this little shit want so early in the morning?  
"Can I help you?" You say, keeping your words as dry as possible.  
He points, gesturing to your radio. The alarm seems to be going off. It's blasting out the most obnoxious fumes of hip hop stank you've ever heard. Beats so rank you wouldn't even pretend to like them for ironic purposes, "TURN IT DOWN OR OFF OR SOMETHING! I CAN'T STAND WAKING UP TO THIS SHIT!"  
"Dude, it's just hip hop."  
"WHAT THE JEGUS TITS ON GRIST IS HIP HOP?"  
"It's a genre of music. The kind you would dance to in a manner so uncouth, it would give nuns heart attacks."  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS A NUN."  
"They're a bunch of penguin accessorizing dames that belong to religious cults and are occasionally pimped out to Sunday schools to teach children the ways of their faith."  
"UM."  
"Oh and they don't fill pails. They must remain as pure as the driven snow."  
"THEY COULD GET CULLED ON MY PLANET FOR NOT OFFERING UP A PAIL OF GENETIC MATERIAL."  
You contemplate this for a moment and then a very interesting thought comes to mind, "Does that mean no one on your planet gets to stay a virgin?"  
Karkat flushes. You can see his "disgusting" mutant blood rise to the surface of his cheeks, "ADULTS CAN'T STAY VIRGINS AND KIDS MY AGE WOULDN'T HAVE TO OFFER ANY PAILS YET."  
You finally reach the conclusion you wanted to find, "So you're still a virgin?" You smile smugly, enjoying his flustered reaction.  
"FUCK! STRIDER, EVERYONE WAS THIRTEEN HUMAN YEARS OLD WHEN WE STARTED THIS GAME! WHO THE HELL COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO THESE PAST THREE YEARS? YOUR SISTER?"  
His eyes widened a little and he realized who the other party was.  
Yeah, you had banged Terezi. You guys were sixteen and curious and suddenly you had urges. You thought it was weird when you discovered both genders of trolls had bone bulges, or the tentacle-like, watercolor paint-squirting, equivalent of human cocks. But then again it made sense since both the male and female trolls needed to offer genetic material to fill pails. Terezi wasn't half bad with her tongue either. The way she moved that thing made you see stars. And not the shitty little lights you could just see from your window. The two of you had decided to tone your relationship down a notch and just be friends with benefits. You didn't exactly "love" her and she didn't hold any actual feelings of romance towards you.  
Karkat regained his composure, "A-ANYWAY TURN OFF THIS GARBAGE. IT'LL RUST YOUR THINKPAN."  
Then he absconded.  
Turning off the radio you decide to see what Rose is up to today. Hopefully it's something more entertaining than can town. You mean, shit, the mayor is cool and all, but seriously, how many more times can you sit through another one of his decrees in which he makes it illegal for Terezi to eat the chalk, or err building materials? She always manages to find a loophole and wiggles out of the trial scott free anyway. It's like Scott was enslaved one minute and the righteous drubbing of TZ's cane filled him with liberation the next. Fuck, Scott. How does she know so many goddamn legal terms anyway? There's no television. She can't be watching Troll Law and Order all day.  
You enter the cozy and well-furnished study. Kanaya really outdid herself in this place. Curtains and shit. And the cozies! Fucking cozies everywhere! BITCHES HAD ALL THE COZIES! ALL OF THEM!  
You grab a cup of joe and slide into an open chair next to your sister related to you via ectogoop. She is absorbed in some light reading. The text appears to be Alternian.  
"Good morning sister-dearest. How are you fairing on this godforsaken rock hurtling through space this morning?"  
She turns a page and sighs. Dog-earing her spot, she glares at you fiercely, "Did you come to talk to me for any reason in particular or?"  
"What are you reading?" You ignore her venomous jab.  
"Right. You're bored. Well then," She slams her book closed and shows you the cover. It's one of Vantas' romance novels.  
"Why are you reading this hogwash?"  
"I'm hoping to gain some insight on the Alternian mating rituals. Unlike you, I am not so easily driven away from new knowledge after hearing the word "quadrants"."  
"Oh shit. There it is! My trigger word! You have triggered me, Rose! Triggered me! Kankri, would be rolling in his ghostly grave right about now with some long winded lecture, his stupid red sweater getting all in a twist. I hope you're happy."  
"I'm reading it for Kanaya."  
There's a moment of silence, "Oh. I didn't know you swung that way. I mean I knew you guys were close and there was definitely something there but-"  
She sighs, "I don't really care about her gender. I don't even know how trolls can tell their sexes apart since their reproductive organs are the same, so what does it matter?"  
"Boobs, Rose. Boobs matter. And Kanaya has them. They may be small but she has them," Rose smacks you over the head with her, you've discovered, not so light reading material.  
"Kanaya has a perfectly exquisite set of breasts. I would know. I've gotten to second base."  
"TMI! TMI! TMI!"  
"Anyway, you should really read one of these if you are continuing your relationship with Terezi," she hands you a thick stack of pages which you begrudgingly accept, "I translated the book and wrote it out so you can understand it."  
"Even in English this isn't going to make any fucking sense, Rose."  
"Just give it a try."  
You are making your way back you your room when you hear some music playing just down the hall. It's so quiet that you almost didn't catch it. It's coming from Vantas' room. You creep down the halls and silently open his door a smidgeon.  
He's asleep, sitting on his floor. He's got one of his stupid romance novels draped across his stomach and his ear buds are busy blasting out some classical shit. You notice how different he looks when he's sleeping. His frown has been replaced by a content grin and his forehead is wrinkle free.  
You sneak in and take a peek at his book. The cover image looks innocent enough but the title seems kind of kinky. You've managed to learn some dirty words in Alternian thanks to the brilliant teachings of Terezi.  
Karkat stirs beside you. He makes tiny disgruntled noises from his mouth like he just tasted something bad. He begins to tilt sideways and you catch him before he falls over and wakes up to find you in his room. Gently, you lower him to ground. He tucks his arms under his head and brings his legs closer in to his stomach. What the adorable fucking ball of Karkat Vantas is this. You're about to flip your shit about how cute he is and fly off the fucking handle like pupa pan out of goddamn troll story book land. But you don't. Because you're Dave fucking Strider and Striders always keep their cool.  
Instead you stealthily make your way back to your room for some reading.  
Oh my god you cannot stand this.  
You throw down Rose's carefully scrawled translation to the floor in disgust. You find it revolting how the troll dude can be all spiteful and loathsome towards his kismesis one minute, and then have crazy random hate sex the next. And fuck, was that scene descriptive! You begin to imagine what Rose must have felt writing that trash down. Probably didn't even blink. Then all of a sudden you think about Karkat, who is always reading this filth and is probably building his romantic fantasies around these novels. Constantly putting them on a pedestal. No wonder his ideas about relationships are so warped.  
Then again, you did learn some interesting things that you didn't even know from being with Terezi. For one thing, a troll's horns aren't always a sensitive area. It usually depends on the blood color. Karkat's blood color wasn't mentioned in the book so you aren't too sure if his nubs would feel anything. Terezi's sure weren't.  
Rough sex was also an important part of Troll society. You tended to be gentler during sex which usually led to an unsatisfied Terezi. But now you knew what she wanted. You knew what all trolls wanted. They all wanted to be pushed down, torn at, and ripped to shreds in the most orgasmic way possible. They liked biting and clawing and even though you knew that from experience you were a little reluctant to draw any blood from your partner. Terezi even mentioned once that you were, "A big cuddle-wuddle-fuddle-duddle-pansy," whatever the hell that meant…  
You needed to cool your head. All this internal monologue-ing about troll sex was getting you all hot and bothered. Time for a shower.  
=> Be Karkat Vantas.  
Suddenly you are Karkat motherfucking Vantas and you've just awoken to the sound of more dreadful "hip hop" or whatever music mashing bullshit Strider is listening to. You fling your romance novel off of your body and pull out your shitty headphones that were supposed to be drowning out all outside noises. Then you feel bad about flinging one of your favorites from the Sadism series and gently settle it under your pillow where it belongs. No one must ever know…  
But that doesn't matter now. All you can think about is that blaring beat banging in the inside of your thinkpan. You're going to flip your shit… again. After scanning the hallway, you hastily make your way to Dave's room. You pound loudly on his door but there is no answer. You decide to just barge in anyway. It's hot and stuffy. You start to ponder why it feels so damp when you are distracted by Strider's shades on his bedside table.  
Jegus Grist.  
There are Dave Strider's stupid, ironic/maybe not so ironic since you guess he actually likes them shades. You pick them up. You've heard tales of these fucking coolkid lenses. Touched by the face of Ben Stiller (whoever the fuck that is), given as a birthday present from Egbert, and my god the Strider human never takes them off!  
You want to wear them. Putting them on you find the obstruction of light to be a welcome hindrance to your sensitive troll eyes. You quickly locate a mirror and give yourself the once over.  
=> Resist the urge to mock Strider in his shades  
You fail miserably. Not that you really even tried to resist. Mocking him was inevitable.  
"LOOK AT ME! I'M FUCKING DAVE STRIDER! WHO IS THE COOLKID? IT IS I! I AM THE COOLKID! LADIES PLEASE HOLD YOUR ORGASMS AT BAY! I MUST SAVE ALL THIS COOLKID AURA TO FUEL MY BROTHER COMPLEX!"  
"Ahem."  
You quickly turn around. There's Strider leaning against the door frame of what you assumed was a closet. The room behind him is leaking warm steam. As it oh-so- coincidentally turns out the closet is actually a bathroom, and you just caught Mr. Strider coming out of the shower. You probably should have noticed his god tier get up laid out all nice and clean on his bed or the fogginess that was heavy in the air when you barged in like you owned the place.  
After taking in your lack of observation skills you begin to realize that Dave is practically naked. Only a towel loosely dangles at his hips, covering his lower half. You have to swallow back some hardcore envy at his body. The guy had a nice set of abs and slender hips; A big difference from your thin and short stature.  
Wait. Fuck no. You were not checking out Strider!  
He smiles, his blood red eyes flashing as he recognizes your gaze as something resembling fascination.  
"You gonna take a picture? Or should I send you a Christmas card with this godly image pasted on the front?"  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHRISTMAS CARD?"  
He ignores your question, "Dude. My shades."  
You really don't want to hand him the glasses. You find his eyes much more interesting to look at, even more so than his body, which was now moving towards you to take the shades by force. You reluctantly allow him to rip them from your face, but he isn't as violent as you thought he'd be. He gently slides his fingers through your hair to push it behind your ears. Then he lightly slips them off your face.  
You're surprised he isn't as pissed as you thought he'd be. You expected a small tussle or strife to ensue as least. It's only after he places the sunglasses on his own face that he gets frightening. You take a step back.  
"Oh no, Vantas. You're not getting away with this," he grabs the back of your shirt, pulling you into the air. Your feet are dangling and part of your stomach is left exposed.  
"LET GO YOU FUCKASS!" You begin to flail. He holds you there as you struggle. Eventually you tire and are left gasping for breath in his grip.  
"You done spazzing?"  
"NOT QUITE," you attempt to kick his shin but he dodges expertly, "DAMN IT!"  
He tosses you onto his bed like you weigh next to nothing. His god tier outfit falls to the floor. You try to abscond again but he pulls you under him, pinning both your bodies to the bed.  
"WHAT? YOU WANT TO STRIFE?" You just manage to hide the anxiety in your voice.  
"No. You've gone too far this time, Vantas. Touching the shades makes this personal."  
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"  
=> Be Dave Strider  
You are now Dave Strider and you have no fucking clue what you are going to do. The troll beneath you just touched the most valued and personal possession you own besides your very own manly bits, and you are pissed enough that you can just barely hide your anger behind the shades.  
You want to hit him, but he looks really vulnerable wriggling beneath you like that. Kind of pathetic. And although you hated to admit it, you found it much more hilarious to walk in on Karkat mocking you and actually relaxing enough to goof off than being mad at him for touching your glasses. You had caught him off guard and he was kind of cute when he was discovered. You also liked how he looked in your shades. Thoughts of Karkat in your shirt danced through your mind. If his regular clothes appeared baggy on him, your shirt would be like a night gown. Focus Dave!  
You can always get a rise out of him by instigating a fight. This time you needed something different. You needed to make him flustered. He needed to be stunned into submission and you knew just what to do.  
=> Be the adorably wriggling alien troll  
Oh look suddenly you're Karkat again. And fuck just when you thought Dave was going somewhere with that sexual sounding train of thought. And apparently he did go somewhere because the next thing you know he's biting into your neck, gently nipping at your collar bone, and moving his tongue in areas that make you rethink how sensitive your skin is.  
You are having a hard time forming coherent thoughts and he grins down at you like he knows he was the one to shut you up.  
You find your voice, "I-I DON'T HATE YOU LIKE THAT DUMBA-AH!" Your angry tone melts into a moaning cry of pleasure. Holy fuck. You did not mean for that to slip out. You bring your hands to your mouth to prevent any other unwelcome noises from escaping.  
Dave grabs your hands and holds them down, "Nice try, Vantas. I'm gonna make you sing."  
His mouth hits yours and you tear up when he bites into your lower lip. Not wanting to be outdone you nip at his, only slightly less rough since your teeth are sharp enough to split his lip on contact. He grins as blood dribbles down his chin. He looks menacing and you shiver out of fear.  
He plunges his tongue into your mouth playing and dancing to coax yours into movement. You are unsure how to react since this is your first time kissing. As soon as you make an effort by moving your tongue into his mouth he snatches it in his teeth. You yelp in surprise and pain. More blood spills into your mouths and it tastes salty and metallic. It isn't a bad taste but it disgusts you a little bit to know you're sharing body fluids with Strider, even if you shared a mutual blood color.  
You realize you were closing your eyes and begin to open one warily. You are face to face with black.  
Those fucking shades! But they're different this close up. You can see through to his eyes. They're startlingly red and filled with hints of lust and malice. He obviously picked up some things about troll sex with Terezi. He looks like he wants to make you suffer.  
Going limp you feel his weight shift accordingly. He lets down his guard. You free your hands and pull his face away from yours.  
"STRID-Mmm!" He quickly cuts you off and re-locks your lips. He's moving them in a way that makes your thinkpan spin. By the time he finally pulls away you're breathless and shaky and your eyes feel wet.  
He wolfishly smirks and you feel heat rush to your face, "You're crying," He nonchalantly points out.  
"YOU WOULD BE TOO IF SOME ASSHOLE TRIED TO SEXUALLY HARASS YOU AND SHOVED THEIR TONGUE DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE," you choke back some more tears.  
His eyebrows almost crease but then settle back into the position of his usual poker face.  
"Don't lie. You liked it. And you want more."  
Between your furious blush, your blood-red tears, and your well… just blood dripping from your mouth you must have the entire red spectrum scattered over your face. Dave notices you trying to wipe at it and his grin deepens, "Need some help cleaning yourself up?"  
He leans his face in and licks at your tears. The feeling is both thrilling and soothing. Why was Strider being so gentle all of a sudden? It was off putting. Somewhere a thousand troll boners just died from the lack of blackrom.  
However yours is still going strong. Your bone bulge is flipping out. Fuck no! You did not want Dave Strider! Especially not like this. Your species was supposed to be turned on by some of the most violent acts of hate sex imaginable and yet here you were swooning for Strider's gentle caresses. Just another way your mutant blood made you an outcast.  
Dave stares down at your bulge. His expression is hungry and his face is smeared red, making him look especially vampiric.  
"I think your little friend wants some attention," he licks his lips.  
"NO IT DOES NOT!" You shift your hips so that one leg is covering the other, hiding your pelvic region.  
"Should we see how long it takes for me to open your legs?"  
"NO-ah!" You're cut off by another moan as he nips at your ear and runs a cool hand up your side.  
"So sensitive," he traces circles into your back and you instinctively arch forward, "What an erotic sight."  
He takes his hand and reaches for your horns, "STOP! NO WAIT! NOT THERE!"  
He pauses briefly and chuckles before fondling them. The tingling sensation drives you mad. You are completely incapacitated. You have been rendered immobile. You whine as he continues to rub at your nubs, your breath becoming heavy with pleasure.  
Carefully he unzips your jeans. Shit! When did you release your legs? Almost gaining your composer, you attempt to quickly close them again. But Dave starts to scratch at your horns and your barely audible whines turn to loud drawn out moans.  
He gently glides his hand into your underwear and your bone bulge immediately encircles it in a tight hold. Fuck. That's embarrassing! It's like it has a mind of its own, "Excited to get started huh?"  
"STOP TALKING TO IT!" You snarl out from clenched teeth.  
"Why? Are you jealous?" He kisses it and begins to slide his hand along its surface.  
"Ooh!"  
"Vantas."  
"Hmm?"  
"I have to tell you something serious."  
"W-WHAT?"  
"I am suffering from an extreme case of ass famine."  
You smack him over the head. He rubs a little slower, "FUCK! NO! DON'T SLOW DOWN! I-I!"  
"What I'm trying to say is I need to use your ass."  
You don't exactly comprehend the words he's using, but as he reaches behind your bone bulge and finds your nook realization dawns on you, "NO! PLEASE NO! I'M NOT READY FOR THAT YET! I'M NOT PREPARED!"  
"You aren't prepared? What do you need to feel prepared for this?" He taps at your nook.  
"I-I MEANT MENTALLY, YOU ASS! WE AREN'T EVEN IN ANY SPECIFIED QUADRANT! WHAT ARE WE? KISMESISES? MATESPRITS? OR ARE YOU JUST MESSING WITH ME BECAUSE I WORE YOUR STUPID SHADES?"  
You steal the lenses from his face and throw them across the room. He looks like he's about to go after them but he changes his mind. His eyes burn with a crimson fire that can only be described as intense as fuck. He loses his poker face and glares down at you with killing intent. A haunting smirk plays around his lips and his expression is deadly. He goes… GRIMDARK.  
He slides in two fingers at once into your nook. The sting makes you woozy and your body trembles at the sudden shift from pleasure to pain. You cough up a sob and cry out.  
Dave bites at your shoulder and violently pulses his fingers in and out of your hole. You can tell you're bleeding but your throat has become too dry for anymore screaming. Shivering you allow him to have his way until he's satisfied with how flexible your nook has become.  
Then he removes his towel.  
You have never seen any human reproductive organs and the sight of Dave's larger than life cock makes you dizzy. It was so much bigger than a troll's bone bulge. He adjusts you at an angle and positions himself perfectly before ramming his dick into your nook. You silently scream as tears trickle down your face.  
After a few more shoves he takes notice of your silence. You have twisted yourself so that you can bury your face in your arms. Your body is racking with quiet sobs.  
=> Be Dave, the giant douche  
Oh my fucking god. What have you done. He was just a virgin. And you seem to have discovered that not all trolls liked sex as brutal and bloodthirsty as possible. Karkat was different from Terezi. Maybe it was his mutant blood or whatever but he didn't like it rough at all. And you just raped him over a pair of shades.  
=> Be Karkat  
The constant pounding stops. You can still feel Strider's dick in your nook but it isn't moving. You flinch as Dave puts his arms around you and pulls you on top of his lap. Face into his chest, you have absolutely no idea what to do. He's shushing you and rubbing your back in gentle rhythmic patterns. He keeps mumbling something into your hair that sounds like "I'm sorry."  
Gingerly you place your arms around his neck and rest your head on his shoulder. He pulls away to look you in the eye, "I promise I'll be gentle. I'll make you feel good."  
He angles himself differently so that he can bounce you on his lap and reach your feel-good spot. Your nook still stings a bit but the pain is slowly being replaced with sexual satisfaction.  
"Aah! DAVE!" It feels too good. You'd rather have this over what troll society dictates as normal any day, even if it means getting culled, "DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!"  
=> OhmygodpleasebeDaverightnow  
You're Dave again and you are mesmerized by how turned on you are from Karkat chanting your name in such an erotic voice. And then it happens.  
"Karkat, I'm-," You cum. You fill him up making his insides warm and wet. His face flushes dark red as he realizes what has just happened. Then his bone bulge releases so much cherry juice shit it makes you wish you had a pail. This was going to be a bitch to clean up.  
After riding out his orgasm he drops his head onto your chest and sinks into your embrace, "Tired?"  
"Hmmhmm…"  
You pull out so he can escape but he doesn't move. He sits on your lap in nothing but his oversized sweater looking like he's drunk from all of the intense lovemaking. He stares at your mouth for a few seconds, "What?" You begin to feel flustered.  
He leans his head in closer and licks at the wound on your lips, "sorry..," he mumbles under his breath.  
You pull him in for a hug, "You have nothing to feel sorry about. That was my goddamn fault. Not yours. I assumed all trolls couldn't get off without violent sex. I was the one in the wrong. I'm sorry."  
He snuggles in closer, "WHAT DOES THIS MAKE US? AM I A ONE TIME THING?"  
You sigh, "Well if I had to label it I would say lover or boyfriend because seriously I think I'm fucking swooning over how adorable your being… What would you call us?"  
"I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE SUCH CONTRADICTING FEELINGS."  
You pull Karkat close and he tucks himself into the folds of your arms.  
"Then let's just be Matemesises? Or Kissprits? I don't fucking care anymore," You plant a kiss on Karkat's forehead, "You're mine now. That's that. End of story. Fucking check that book into the library before you get stamped with some shitty late fee."


End file.
